033. Relationships: Where Do I Fit In?

10 Apr, 2012

In the last devotional I talked about the importance of finding your role in your relationships. I also talked about bacon.  Now I will expand on how to understand your role.  Your role in relationships.  Not your role with bacon.   But, that would make an awesome devotional though.

So we left off with, “What callings has He given your spouse, your kids, your friends?  What is your role in helping them?” That’s a really big, squishy question to ask, so we need to figure out how to practically answer that question.

Pretend you’re a pastor, and you have a congregation of one-thousand. Would you also have time to vacuum all the rooms?  To clean the toilets, to take out the trash?  To do the accounting for all the offerings, make deposits, account for payroll and taxes?  To take care of the website and all the IT? There’s no way. Many people must play a part.  If people don’t understand their role, that church suffers.

Now let’s take that example and plop it right down on a relationship we all have – our family. For example, in my family my wife traditionally prepares meals (because my idea of preparing dinner is serving Cheetos) but she was called to go back to college.  And for the family to properly support mom in her calling, things will have to change.

So how can you know where you fit into their life, unless you know their callings and limitations? What are roles should your kids have?  What role should your spouse have?  And what do you do to make sure they can fulfill their roles? What are the everyday things you need to have in place so that they can accomplish these callings on a daily basis? What needs to get done?  What chores need to be delegated to the kids?  What are the problems that arise that need to be resolved?

And you know what all this really is? Management. You are a manager.

Just like how any successful church, ministry, business, sports team’s success is based on management, so is a family.  So is a marriage. What are our goals?   What problems need to be solved?  What are our strengths and weaknesses?  What are our opportunities and threats?  Who does what?  How do we function best as a team? 

It’s all management. It’s like a little mini-Body-of-Christ. So what do we do? So today, answer these questions… What are your spouse’s roles?  What are your kids’ roles?  And what is your role?  And how do you manage it all? How can I make sure my wife can fulfill her role of cooking dinner and studying for college?  By me making sure the kids set the table and do the dishes.  By making sure she doesn’t have to worry about any of the bills, or car maintenance, or dog poop, or zombie attacks.

How can I make sure my kids fulfill their roles as students and raise them to be godly?  By making sure I’m there for them with homework, being a good listener when they are venting about problems at school, by discipline, by setting a good example.

Outside the family, like at work or a group setting… what can I do to not only be successful, but to make those beneath me successful as well? If you’re not in an authority role, that doesn’t mean the one above you holds all the managerial answers.  You have ideas too. Not only can you fill your role, but you can help them with their role by suggestions and advice. Boss, maybe we should try this vendor instead.  Mom, maybe you should try Firefox and not Internet Explorer.  Dad, maybe you should use the shotgun instead of the 9mm.

What is my role, and how do I help others with theirs? Those are the questions we all need to answer for ourselves for us to have Godly relationships. And since my wife had class tonight, my role is making dinner… which will be Skittles with a side of Cool Ranch Doritos.


1 Peter 4:10 As each has received a gift, employ it in serving one another, as good managers of the grace of God in its various forms.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God for wisdom to understand others’ roles so you can understand yours in relation to theirs. Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.

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