091. How Do I Deal with Arguments When I’m Right

03 Mar, 2013

We get in arguments all the time… who’s fault it was that dinner wasn’t prepared.  What’s the best way to get to Taco Bell.  What set of inoculations do you need before eating at Taco Bell.  What’s the fastest route from Taco Bell to the hospital.

I’m not taking about disagreeing – of course that’s gonna happen.  I’m talking about arguing. And of course you think you’re right.  Why would you argue something you don’t believe?

But what happens is that people believe that… …being right about an argument justifies the argument.

That’s how we all act.  When we’re right about something, we go all out. But who bothered to stop to think about if it’s even right to argue? And what really is the source of argument?  The source is needing to be right. The source is pride. Pride puts being right in front of love, in front of patience. Pride puts being right over the relationship with the other person.

So what do we do?

When getting into an argument, we have to take a step back.  We first have to make sure we don’t get angry simply for the fact that they don’t agree with us.  We have to be patient. Which would be fine if they weren’t upset either, so you have to try to make sure they don’t lose their patience either – which can be difficult.

One super practical way of not allowing things to get out of hand is just trying to smile, or joke around a bit to take the edge off the tone.  For me, the simple act of smiling helps the other person know I’m not mad and want to have a discussion, not an argument.

We then have to be humble.  A lot of times it doesn’t really matter if we’re right or not.  It’s not like we get into a lot of arguments of if we should cut the blue wire or green wire to disarm a bomb, and if you pick the wrong one, you die.  Sometimes you just have to let it go.

However, if you can’t because you’re in a situation where a decision must be made and you are responsible for the decision, having patience along with humility will keep you from sinning and allow you to think clearly. Because we still have to reach the ultimate goal, which is showing love.  

Yes, even when a decision must be made, there still is a higher goal.  Because even if you are right, if you were sinful getting there, you are still wrong. You display love for the person, while disagreeing with their statements.  Separate the two. Then pray for wisdom on how love should be displayed.  

How are you going to phrase your words?  How will you use a loving tone?  Or do you let them be wrong for a little longer?  Is there a polite way out of the argument? Just remember, the ultimate goal is to show love, not to be ‘right’.

Then maybe we’ll be able to settle our differences in a loving manner, and you’ll come to realize that I was right all along.


PR 18:12 Before his downfall a man’s heart is proud, but humility comes before honor. 1CO 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. [5] It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. [6] Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. [7] It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Take Time To Pray: Ask God to help you to have a heart of humility and love, and to watch out for pride. Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Love

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