082. Why Did God Create Marriage / How Do We Put God First in our Marriage?

16 Nov, 2012

What most people (including Christians) believe is that love is the cause and the goal of a marriage.

Therefore if love is no longer in the relationship (which is the only reason for the marriage) then of course divorce is okay. When love is the goal of a marriage, we believe that marriage exists to make us happy.  Marriage exists for us.  That thinking is why the divorce rate is so high.

So what is the goal of marriage? Think back to when God first created the earth.  He created everything for His glory – including marriage. It was an institution he set up as he created the first male and female. God created Adam and gave him a calling…

GE 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.

And then it goes on…

GE 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

Does it say “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a companion for him to love, and that will love Him back”? No.  God created a helper. A helper for what?  To help complete the God given tasks that were given.  In this case, to work and take care of the Garden of Eden. Marriage was created with the ultimate goal of doing something for God. Then He goes on to finalize marriage…

GE 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Marriage is about God.  Marriage is about fulfilling God’s tasks. And what are God’s tasks for you?  Your callings.

A marriage is set up so that you help your spouse fulfill their callings and they help you fulfill your callings. Yes, marriage is a great blessing for us.  And yes, we want love in our marriage. Love will allow us to better help our spouse fulfill their callings. But love is not the ultimate goal.  That’s why we make the oath, “For better or for worse.”

So what do we do?

How do we put God first in our marriage? To reach any goal, a team works best when they work well together.  How can a team reach their goal and win a game if they are bickering on the field?  They need to trust and respect one another. Same thing in a marriage.  

A couple must work on teamwork, which really is all the fruit of the spirit:  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. When you do that, your team gets better, and it wins more games.

But just because you or your spouse doesn’t have 100% in all nine of those areas, doesn’t mean you should quit.  Maybe you’re the Michael Jordan on your team and your spouse is John Travolta.  Part of your job is to help your spouse improve. So you have to identify and focus on your weaknesses, while at the same time helping your spouse with theirs.  With this, the relationship picks up momentum and increasingly gets better.

The more patient you become and they become, lessens the instances of fights, which only makes it easier to have patience. The more love you show, the easier it it to be loved back, which make you love more. And as your relationship improves, so will your ability to fulfill God’s callings in your lives.

So to put God first, you have to put his goal first (fulfilling your callings), and to accomplish that goal, you have to be effective as a team, which means you have to intentionally work at your relationship. So obviously you should be praying together.  But when you pray together, be honest and ask prayer for the aspects you are seeking to improve.

By this you humble yourselves before God and show you really are trying to put him first in your marriage.


GE 2:15 The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. [16] And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; [17] but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.” GE 2:18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” GE 2:19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. [20] So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. [21] So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh. [22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. GE 2:23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” GE 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

Take time to pray: Ask God to give you wisdom with dating, or wisdom in your marriage so you can identify your spouse’s callings, so that you can help them fulfill them. Today’s Fruit of the Spirit: Faithfulness.  Faithfulness to God’s goals. Marriage is so trivialized in our culture.  No one really seems to value it anymore.  Much like VHS tapes or John Travolta.

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