123. How Do I Prepare for a Successful Relationship?

15 Jun, 2011

(“Auuugh.  The pool ain’t ready!”)

As soon as they started clearing out some land for the pool, I tried it out. Unfortunately the pool wasn’t quite done yet, so I didn’t have any fun – I just ended up getting covered in dirt.

It’s the same way with dating.

I’m sure we’ve all seen Christians in romantic relationships try to rush things. They get all excited about the relationship and allow the excitement to take over. Things that are obviously bad decisions, are no longer obvious because of emotion. When you’re ‘in love’, forget it. Grab your swimsuit and jump right in whether there’s a pool there or not.

For a pool, you need to dig out the hole, install the plumbing, the electrical, the pool, the concrete support and the water before you can properly enjoy the pool. In a relationship, all those things have to be set up first. And what is the most important thing that needs to be set up first? The spiritual foundation.

The spiritual foundation is like the hole that needs to be dug out. Without it, the rest of the process can’t happen. Now how do you begin to create a foundation?

Well, let’s first start off with the most common mistake to show what needs to be set up first… The person they’re in love with becomes an idol. Let’s say you were a bit lonely before being in a relationship, and now you’re all happy because you’re in one… this means your relationship with God wasn’t enough for you.

You needed something more to make you happy. It could be money, or respect, or in this case love from another person. Both people must be spiritually mature enough to not allow for idolatry in the relationship – the relationship with God comes first. Because if God wasn’t enough for you before, marriage isn’t going to solve this, then you’ll move on to ‘my kids will make me happy’, then that’ll be replaced with some other idol.

So if you’re single, dating or married… a person is not a replacement for your relationship with God. Now how do you know if you’re on the right track with your relationship with God? Ask yourself, are you at peace where God has you in life and are you thankful for His blessings? Or do you find yourself without peace, full of complaints?

So get your relationship with God right… and that’ll help you get your relationship with others right. Seek His will, trust His plan, grow in your understanding of Him. Faith in God. That’s the basis of your relationship with Him as well as the basis for your relationship with others.


Matt 6:33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Take time to pray: Ask God for the desire to work on growing closer to Him.

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